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About Us

For ten years, the Skits-O-Phrenics have been a ray of comedy sunshine illuminating a patch of heather on the otherwise bleak moors of Cornell University. Founded by Eric Garcia, author of the novel-turned-movie Matchstick Men, the Skits have a long-standing tradition of producing illustrious alumni, including but not limited to members of Elephant Larry, Madame Funnypants, and Uphill Both Ways.

The group has been rated "pretty funny" and "better than doing laundry on a Friday night" by this guy I met after a show one time. We've gotten lots of praise, visit our Press Page. Performances at the University of Pennsylvania, Brandeis, Harvard, Yale, and Skidmore College's National College Comedy Festival have consistently met with rave reviews.

John Cleese of Monty Python fame is an honorary member, but he hasn't called or written in a while and frankly, we are beginning to worry. We sincerely hope that he is okay.

Skits-O-Phrenics are: Allen Williams, Kim Ellenson, Scott Loranger, Liana Mancini, Mike Blazejewski, Eden Mayle, Youmna Sakr, Zack Mast, Dan Kenkel, and Alex Scharfman

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Members

Allen

Allen joined the group in September 2004 and already he's the first alphabetically. What a go-getter! Unfortunately he does not have a bio. I guess when you have alphabetical supremacy, who needs anything else?

 

Dan

Dan will have a profile soon. But not that soon. (sigh) Freshmen.

 

 

Eden

Eden, eden, bo-beeden, banana-fanna-fo-feeden, me-mi-mo-meeden. Eden. Eden invented that little name game thingy, and is now rich as hell because of it. She can be reached in the back seat of her limo or at her mansion off the coast of Martinique. Unless you are Justin Timberlake, in which case Eden doesn't want to talk to you. She's still mad about last weekend.

 

Kim

Kim Ellenson is actually nuclear fallout from the 4th dimension, and wants everyone to know that hippopotamuses can open their mouths to an angle of 220 degrees. Also, she once met Sally Hemings.

Liana

This is the only confirmed sighting of codename 'Liana' that the CIA will let us reveal. It is believed to have been taken approximately 90 nautical miles due West of San Dorio Island in the 'Magnificent Fringe' of the Gorilla Mountains. This site was wiped off the face of the planet in 1983 by atom bomb tests. No further info.

Mike

Strength: 9, Agility: 6, Intelligence: 6. Mike brings a calm and level-headed presense to the Professor's team of crime fighting mutants. Originally from Massachusetts, he had to flee his native town after locals began noticing disturbing lights coming from his family's cranberry bog. Mike can wield flame like an Italian chef tosses pizza.

Scott

Although wikipedia sources still debate his origins, Scott is known to have lived sometime during the late 1600's, played a key role in shaping the course of Corsican independence, and stood at least 7 feet tall, possibly with the use of stilts and/or "walking turtles". There is an image of Scott in the background of the Corsican 5 dubloon note, behind the grape leaf.

Youmna

Youmna is a light-hearted, mellow sort of wine; mildly acidic with a playful bouquet. Raspberry tones are prominent, along with a hint of cabbage peirogi and an intriguing aftertaste of cardboard in a wood-fired stove. Best with red meat or as an apéritif with a side of tater tots.

 

Zack

Zack will probably have a profile soon. If he wants it bad enough.

 

Members Who Done Just Grajeeated

Ben

Ben entered this world rocketing flaming forth from an abandoned Volcano Graveyard on a chopper named "Delilah" firing hollow-point switchblades into the dark, moonless sky.  Today, Ben lives in sunny Saskatchewan with his Asian wife Sarah and their two Dutch orphans, Jaegon and Millsat.  His hobbies inlcude lifting weights and setting the table.  Other works by Ben include The Canterbury Males and Whose Corn Is This?!

 

Ben

Ben is a new comic strip about family life as seen through the eyes of a retired couple. Ben is due to strut his stuff on the catwalk at the the london motorcycle & scooter show. Ben is a celebration where people bring offerings to the monks. Ben is dead party featuring wash & chokebore golden apple books. Ben is still in the dumpster.

Bill

Bill was born in the summer of his 27th year, coming home to a place he'd never been before. He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born again, you might say Bill found a key for every door. When he first came to the mountains, his life was far away on the road and hanging by a song. But the string's already broken and Bill doesn't really care, it keeps changing fast, and it don't last for long. And the Colorado Rocky Mountain high, Bill's seen it raining fire in the sky. The shadows from the starlight are softer than a lullaby. Rocky Mountain high, Colorado. Rocky Mountain high...

Jess

As far as I know, Jess just spent a semester studying abroad in Rome. She's been a junior art major for 3 years and counting.

Jason

Jason is an infinite number. Your puny human brain cannot comprehend the magnitude of the set that is Jason Chlipala. His cardinality: awesome. His complement: all that is not awesome.

 

 

Members of the Near Past

Sean

A rogue human with a craving for zombie brains, he's about to make those reanimated corpses go from undead to un-undead...which is just dead. Life with Sean is both pleasurable and deadly, like making love to a ninja. So fasten your seatbelts and gird your collective loins, because this semester, Sean Spagnoli is back, and this time, it's personal...but not too personal, because he has problems with intimacy.

Calvin

Calvin Godfrey is composed of an inorganic non-carbon based compound that descended to earth in a meteorite sometime around the third century B.C. The compound sat in the ground until 1982 when it was happened upon by a roaming Bedouin tribe in the Arabic peninsula. The nomads re-constructed Calvin as you now know him according to their religious custom. So don't close your eyes boys and girls...cause Calvin Godfrey is comin' ta git cha! (Calvin Graduated in May 2005 with an English Major)

Matt

Matt graduated in May 2005 with a degree in English.

Neal

Neal graduated in May 2005 with a degree in History and International Relations. He is living and working in British Columbia.

Members of the Distant Past

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Last Updated 12-25-0000